If I had £1 for every time I heard the phrase “everyone is different” during my cancer treatment, I’d be wealthy. But despite all those responses, I would have still felt just as lost.
When you’re navigating a world turned upside down by a cancer diagnosis, certainty becomes a lifeline. You want answers. You crave guidance. You need something solid to hold onto. But time and time again, my questions were met with that same phrase:
- How long will it take to feel normal again?
- Will this side effect get easier?
- Will the next round of chemo be worse?
- Will I always feel this exhausted?
“Everyone is different.” The words landed like a door closing, leaving me standing alone in the unknown.
Now, as a cancer coach with lived experience, I understand why those words are used so often. No two people experience cancer in the same way. Treatments affect each of us differently. Recovery is personal. But when you’re in the thick of it, facing the fear, pain, and uncertainty, that explanation—while true—can feel anything but reassuring. It can feel isolating and very lonely.
That’s why I do what I do. I’m a volunteer coach at a large NHS cancer supporting others going through what I once did. Because while every cancer journey is unique, no one should have to go through it feeling alone.
As a cancer coach, I don’t have all the answers, but I do offer something just as important: understanding. Sometimes, what’s most needed isn’t certainty—it’s connection. It’s someone who has walked a similar path sitting beside you in the uncertainty, listening, validating, and reminding you that your experience is real, your emotions are valid, and you don’t have to face this alone.
If you’ve ever felt lost from the words “everyone is different,” know this: Your feelings matter, regardless of how dark or negative they might be. Your fears, frustrations, and hopes are all real and valid. I don’t have definitive answers but I can promise you this—you are not alone and I’m in your corner with you.
